Feeling good yeah.

Spent the whole day reorganising an entire section of the store. By myself. It felt fucking great when I finished!

Twat.

When the baguette is that close to your mouth WHY IS IT CLOSED AND WHY YOU ARE LOOKING COMPLETELY THE WRONG WAY?

I bet you listen to Feeder too, don't you? 'Cos it's all ironic like, but you actually also like them.

500mhz CPU, 64mb RAM and Win 95, probably.

The till computer just can't keep up with me! We use a touchscreen monitor and almost everytime I try logging in I am forced to do it three or four times because I keep getting "incorrect staff id" or "incorrect password". IT WOULDN'T BE INCORRECT IF YOU WEREN'T SO SLOW, stupid computer. I bet they haven't changed the damn things since 1604.

More pointless products.

Books of crossword lists. Essentially they are like a thesaurus but are indexed in a crossword-friendly manner, and include phrases as well. Now my question is: WHY? What is the point in doing a crossword if you are just getting all the answers from a book?

Precariously poised...

I wear one of those skater clasp belts. Next to the till is a device that keeps notes safe, and it sticks out a little further than the till itself. On more than one occasion I have caught the clasp on this thing, making the belt loosen and my trousers prepare for rapid descent. Thus I am forced to stand in a very awkward position, with my legs spread and without moving WHILST AT THE SAME TIME SERVING so that they don't crumple to the floor in an embarrasing heap.

Hand dryer madness.

The male staff toilet is a very narrow room with a very awkwardly placed hand dryer. It is on the wall to the left of the toilet itself, almost directly above. Because it is an automatic one it is a common occurence to accidentally set it off with an elbow or stray piece of clothing. It is LOUD, made louder by the acoustics of a small but tall bathroom, and therefore really goddamn annoying.